你盼望着这小故事好久了， 希望你读的时候还是会有一些些的感动， 那我就很幸福了~

在哪不起眼的小城市里，我们终于决定了长久的住一段时间，好好享受这异国所有的独特味道。这味道说它甜吗，其中却又隐隐藏着一种不可告人的苦涩；说它苦吗，就更离谱了。其中的甜蜜可说是天下第一的啊，有钱都不一定买得到！有些人用一生的时间来探索着迷茫的乐园，一直苦苦追寻着传说中的味道，却怎么找也找不到。 也许他们一直都不清楚自己要的是什么，又怎么能找到这海市蜃楼般的秘密？又或许是一开始就错了；有些东西凭的是心灵的感觉，而不是大脑的分析，双眼的捕抓，甚至是鼻子的灵敏。有些东西，需要静静的体会，慢慢的修炼。

回想起来，真的是不愧一生。那是何等的青春年少啊？岁月的浪潮，遭遇把我们给推倒的安静，和暖的沙滩上了。我们在生命的大海里经历过了多少次的狂风暴雨，经历了多少次蹉跎与考验，都写在了我们的脸上，放佛是在风雨退了后，留下的彩虹似的。看着你熟睡的样子，还是跟以前一点分别也没有，好像是连时间都迷恋了我们似的，无心想要工作了，跟我们一样想要静静的依赖着彼此。 我用那异常般滑嫩的手，滑过你那永远话不会听话的头发，想抱着小孩似的将他们滑过你的额头，然后熟练地把他们小心翼翼地搁在了你耳边，深怕一点点的动作都会把你吵醒。你睡的很甜，好久没见你如此安稳了。我好希望这时时间能为我们停下来，因为你熟睡的样子，根本没有被时间影响过，一样美丽动人，令我很害怕失去，是一种我永远无法习惯，更不用说忽略的珍惜。烛火在宁静的雪夜里慢舞着，其中投入了多少的情感，在我们的身旁流露着。外面的雪景虽动人，但你的眉间却是我唯一想在的地方。我用嘴唇在你眉间延续着永恒的承诺。

writtern @6:46 AM

26 04 14

In a blink of an eye, my boyfriend and I reached our second monthsary. Throughout this two months (and more), I've gotten to start my day greeted by a sweet good morning text by my sunshine, and end my day happy with my sweetheart, and even in our dreams, we meet each other. That's how attached we are to each other. We never go a moment without thinking about each other, or missing each other. We hold hands all the time, when we're walking, sitting, even eating. If we're not holding hands, then we're cuddling. When we cuddle, I feel his arm around my waist, his fingers intertwined with mine, his silky hair in my face, the warmth of his cheek against mine. It's a feeling I can never get used to, because his every touch sets off butterflies in me, but then again, I could because being with him like that gives me a sense of happiness and familiarity I will never experience anywhere else, or with anyone else.  And then we hug. When we hug, I feel so safe and blissful in his embrace, where I can just bury my face in his shoulder and not care about the world passing by. I wouldn't mind if we just stood there and hugged for hours, actually, because I can never get enough of his hugs. It just sends this strong connection where without words, we can say "I love you." And of course, we kiss, but that's a secret that I can't share.

Truthfully, I didn't expect it. "Expect what?" You ask. 

I didn't expect myself to fall for him, not to mention so deeply. I didn't expect my life and emotions to become so interlinked with his, where my emotions are directly affected by his. If he's upset, I can sense it and I'll get even sadder about it than I do about my own issues. Our emotions work in a cycle. If he's happy, I'm happy, and if I'm happy, he's happy. He's become such a big part of my life that I can't go a moment without wanting him to be beside me to experience what I experience. I didn't expect it, but I can't imagine myself with anyone else. As of now, I really can't imagine life with another person, or life without him. I don't think anyone could love me like he does and make me so happy.

I also didn't expect one guy to be this dedicated to me.

Sam is just that guy. He's the guy that puts in so much effort and commitment into our relationship for us and towards me, because when he goes in, he goes all in. He even counted the months till the day that we will get married. And regardless if I don't give him my answer about my feelings, he still gives me as much time as I need and continues to be faithful to me. He's also always there for me and my problems, no matter if its big or too small until I overlook them, he's always there to care and go out of his way to help me. He's the kind of boyfriend that researches and borrows books on massage techniques for a knee problem that I have. He talks out all my problems with me rationally, gives me advice, and comforts me. He's always there to be my lighthouse to guide me home. He never gets angry at me, even when I lose the bracelet he gives me. Instead, he comforts me about it and calls me silly for even worrying about it in the first place. He's understanding and tolerant to me to a level that I thought was impossible beforehand. He endures my accidental screaming at him during my mood swings, cheers me up when I'm emotional and crying, and tolerates my crazy emotions I find unbearable myself. He cares more about me than himself, and protects me all the time. He reminds me to drink my milk, bring a jacket, eat more breakfast and more, every single day, whereas he might forget some of his own stuff on some days. He insists on carrying all my things for me, even if he already has a lot of things on his hands. He makes time to surprise me and see me, even if he's the busier one of us two. Even after 2 months, he opens the door and pull out chairs for me, and leads me while walking to make sure I don't fall or step into anything that could cause me to get injured. Everytime I'm with him, I feel like I go back to the first time he did all those for me, and I get reminded every time of how I fell in love with him.

Although we're been together for only 2 months, it feels like it has been very long. As we like to imagine, we probably have been together for many life times before this. 



It's probably because we've been through so much together. We had our happy times, our sad times, and even times we almost fight. But unlike most couples, when we fight, we don't lose trust in each other or grow distant. We grow closer and stronger than ever, and it really proves that we can get through anything. At first i didn't believe in us, but now I do. I'm sorry its late, but just know that I'm on the same page as you. 




Honestly, I've never felt like this with anyone else before. I've always felt a little scared to attach myself fully to someone, because people keep leaving me. I always had to be someone else, someone better that people like, for the sole reason that I was afraid to lose them. But its different with Sam. I really feel like I can just put my whole heart in with no worries. I can be myself, my negative self, my unglam self, and whatever it is, he still loves me. No one else has ever gave me so much love that up to now, I can't believe I've gotten hand of such a good guy. Sometimes I feel like I'm not worthy, and I wonder what I did to deserve him, but I figured out, this is fate. It works in strange ways, and I'm not going to question it. Every single day, I'm just so thankful for him. He's not someone I can just take for granted, because I'm scared I'll lose him. And if that day ever happens, I don't know what I'll do, because he's my everything.



Thank you for being my everything.

writtern @5:12 AM

"I don't make empty promises."

prom·ise

  [prom-is]  

noun

an express assurance on which expectation is to be based: promises that an enemy will not win.

When someone you don't really know says that to you, you can't help but doubt his promise.
Promises are made with a claim, an expectation, but not a reality. 
Promises are broken, because things don't turn out the way its expected to.
People change, reality twists, promises are forgotten.

But not this time.
When he makes a promise, he sticks to it.

I promise to stay up with you.

When someone sacrifices their sleep just for you, you know that that person really loves you a lot. I pulled an all-nighter. But he doesn't have to be awake. Yet he is, because he made the promise to. I secretly hoped that he didn't wake up, because I wanted him to get some sleep, so I didn't text him first. To my surprise (well, not really), he wakes up on his own and sends me his text. Now, he’s struggling to keep awake. I insist for him to sleep first, yet he doesn’t budge. Sleep, next to eating, is one of the most important things to a person. Yet he willingly gives up his sleep, and then I know I'm more important to sleep to him. 

I promise to be there for you. 

To you, I just want to say I’m really thankful. Life’s been a bitch, throwing me problem after problem, and even though its not your problem, you gladly take them in your own hands.  Our problems, our fortune, you say. You worry more about them than me. You go out of your way to come out with solutions. And no matter what, you’re here for me. Although it stresses you out and its hard on you, you still do more for me than yourself. You took me out for a breather, and took the time and effort to research on my favourite animal, just to give me a sweet surprise. And I really enjoyed it. It took my mind off all the bad things, and all I was focused on was on you, and where we were, and what we were. I don’t think I could have asked for a better day. You went all out to cheer me up, because you love me selflessly. And I can feel it, from the bottom of my heart. That you being here for me is genuine true love, and no one can ever beat your love for me. 

Love isn’t all fun and games, its not just happiness and smiles. It’s also hardship and tears, and the best thing? When we go through that, we become stronger and closer to each other. And thats what we’ve doing right now. A real couple only blooms when they see each other at their worst. And they pick each other each. They’re there for each other, like how we are now.  And that’s why I’m not insecure anymore. I know for sure, that we’ll last, and I have faith in us. Remember our wish? 

writtern @3:47 PM

To be honest i didn't even know that this word exist until i came to poly. Yes set my hut on fire with your torches and prepare your pitchforks while you dance and chant around! well now now before some of you extremist really do that, today, 26/03/2014 is the first Monthsary of us getting together. So today i set away my games and put up my headphones as i write something to forever leave a mark in the sands of time how special this day is to me.

{29/28} days earlier...

We were at the atrium, after a horrible day of exam (i thought i was gonna fail, but life being the troll it is, gave me an A*; i still think whoever that marked the paper was getting married or something). And there she was at a rather quint corner with dim lighting. The table she was at had only room for 2 chairs. I made a mental note to compliment her one day how great she is at choosing locations :) Her eagle eyes found before i could realize which part of the atrium she was at. I had this feeling that she was expecting me for quite some time already; the very speed in which her eyes located me was really amazing, she must have surveyed the area for quite some time and maybe make some mental calculations to which where i would arrive from.

Meeting each other after such a long time was really of a feeling that one cannot simply put a finger on, we were saturated with this subtle happiness but something was holding us back. Or rather a decision would be more appropriate. I had an idea of what to expect, but at the same time, i cant help but feel a little worried. Worried that i might be reading things wrongly again.This could very well be the joke of my life. Or this could be the very essence of my life.

But this time, there was no fault in our stars.

And so like all good novels i will leave everyone hanging for a while :P

MONTHSARY is a combination of month and anniversary, so

MONTH:
1) A measure of time corresponding nearly to the period of the moon's revolution and amounting to approximately 4 weeks or 30 days or 1/12 of a year.

2) Plural: An indefinite usually extended period of time.

ANNIVERSARY:
1) The annual recurrence of a date marking a notable event.

I find the Internet's definition of MONTHSARY too vague and too underating what it should truly represent.

SAM's Dictionary:

MONTHSARY: A marker in this never-ending, unwavering and epic journey of love that just shows us how far we are going to go. Nothing too special about it, because everyday is special with you. I don't know about others, but i am sure that we will go really far. Don't ask me how far sweetheart, because an eternity is beyond measures.

I got
1 thing
2 say
those 3 words
4 you

I love you~

writtern @7:02 AM

我觉得自己超虚伪的， 明明就很想念她嘛。怎么搞得自己情感模糊的乱七八糟， 好像每次的想念都得把自己的思绪装进没了牛奶的瓶子里，然后一鼓作气的跑到海边, 用着莫明其妙的力量就地激烈的旋转, 最后在那电光火石的关键时刻把瓶子猛力地扔向水平线。 我真的蛮困扰的，一边的我想要人家立马的回复，仿佛这边一望无际的大海其实是一个以狡辩能跨过的小溪。另一边的我又希望她能玩得开心，暂时放掉一切困扰，进入属于自己的堡垒。

“靠，我看我可能患有精神病叻。” 我努力地放眼那被窗架分成四方形的天空，努力地寻找月亮。

结果月亮不靠谱，放了我飞机。没办法了，星星还算是够义气的，瞄了一下就发现了唯一一个。
我用手指将刘海划过一片，略有深意地道， “唯，我会不会进板桥哦？” 仿佛自己已经下了判决似的，像一只命在旦夕的小狗在呻呤着。星星冷眼地瞪着我，一句话也没说的。

后来，随着时间慢慢的飘过，抹掉了那复杂的思绪，剩下的，却只是单纯的想念。想念着她飘逸流水般的长发，想念着她甜美纯真的笑容，想念着她手心的温度。想念着她的一切。

其实我个人认为想念分成两个阶段。想念的最初期便是那疯狂的苦苦等待，等待着回复，等待着装满了想念的瓶子。这时的情绪很容易被挤在瓶颈里，然后一直酝酿着，好像随时都会爆炸似的。过了一段时间后，这非常热血的想念终于冷却了下来，少了当初的沸腾，但多了一丝丝希望。希望她在那里过的好好的，多喝水，多吃饭，多享受及放松那难得的宁静。想念，进行中。

当初的我也许会很猛地将那瓶子抛向思念大海，坚持着如果能够把瓶子丢的越远，就离你越近。现在的我不了。我会小心翼翼地把装满着想念的它，轻轻地放在沙滩上，让缘分在涨潮时能带着那小小的瓶子飘过夕阳西下的水平线，直到有你的沙滩上。大海的距离与我们的爱相比，差远了。静静的想念，其实是一种低调的暧昧。

I wonder what you are doing.
I wonder where you are.
There are oceans in between us, but that's not very far.
I love you.

为。爱
永远爱着那可爱的你
何淑娴

writtern @12:39 AM

writtern @2:01 AM