26 04 14 In a blink of an eye, my boyfriend and I reached our second monthsary. Throughout this two months (and more), I've gotten to start my day greeted by a sweet good morning text by my sunshine, and end my day happy with my sweetheart, and even in our dreams, we meet each other. That's how attached we are to each other. We never go a moment without thinking about each other, or missing each other. We hold hands all the time, when we're walking, sitting, even eating. If we're not holding hands, then we're cuddling. When we cuddle, I feel his arm around my waist, his fingers intertwined with mine, his silky hair in my face, the warmth of his cheek against mine. It's a feeling I can never get used to, because his every touch sets off butterflies in me, but then again, I could because being with him like that gives me a sense of happiness and familiarity I will never experience anywhere else, or with anyone else. And then we hug. When we hug, I feel so safe and blissful in his embrace, where I can just bury my face in his shoulder and not care about the world passing by. I wouldn't mind if we just stood there and hugged for hours, actually, because I can never get enough of his hugs. It just sends this strong connection where without words, we can say "I love you." And of course, we kiss, but that's a secret that I can't share. Truthfully, I didn't expect it. "Expect what?" You ask. I didn't expect myself to fall for him, not to mention so deeply. I didn't expect my life and emotions to become so interlinked with his, where my emotions are directly affected by his. If he's upset, I can sense it and I'll get even sadder about it than I do about my own issues. Our emotions work in a cycle. If he's happy, I'm happy, and if I'm happy, he's happy. He's become such a big part of my life that I can't go a moment without wanting him to be beside me to experience what I experience. I didn't expect it, but I can't imagine myself with anyone else. As of now, I really can't imagine life with another person, or life without him. I don't think anyone could love me like he does and make me so happy. I also didn't expect one guy to be this dedicated to me. Sam is just that guy. He's the guy that puts in so much effort and commitment into our relationship for us and towards me, because when he goes in, he goes all in. He even counted the months till the day that we will get married. And regardless if I don't give him my answer about my feelings, he still gives me as much time as I need and continues to be faithful to me. He's also always there for me and my problems, no matter if its big or too small until I overlook them, he's always there to care and go out of his way to help me. He's the kind of boyfriend that researches and borrows books on massage techniques for a knee problem that I have. He talks out all my problems with me rationally, gives me advice, and comforts me. He's always there to be my lighthouse to guide me home. He never gets angry at me, even when I lose the bracelet he gives me. Instead, he comforts me about it and calls me silly for even worrying about it in the first place. He's understanding and tolerant to me to a level that I thought was impossible beforehand. He endures my accidental screaming at him during my mood swings, cheers me up when I'm emotional and crying, and tolerates my crazy emotions I find unbearable myself. He cares more about me than himself, and protects me all the time. He reminds me to drink my milk, bring a jacket, eat more breakfast and more, every single day, whereas he might forget some of his own stuff on some days. He insists on carrying all my things for me, even if he already has a lot of things on his hands. He makes time to surprise me and see me, even if he's the busier one of us two. Even after 2 months, he opens the door and pull out chairs for me, and leads me while walking to make sure I don't fall or step into anything that could cause me to get injured. Everytime I'm with him, I feel like I go back to the first time he did all those for me, and I get reminded every time of how I fell in love with him. Although we're been together for only 2 months, it feels like it has been very long. As we like to imagine, we probably have been together for many life times before this.
It's probably because we've been through so much together. We had our happy times, our sad times, and even times we almost fight. But unlike most couples, when we fight, we don't lose trust in each other or grow distant. We grow closer and stronger than ever, and it really proves that we can get through anything. At first i didn't believe in us, but now I do. I'm sorry its late, but just know that I'm on the same page as you.
Honestly, I've never felt like this with anyone else before. I've always felt a little scared to attach myself fully to someone, because people keep leaving me. I always had to be someone else, someone better that people like, for the sole reason that I was afraid to lose them. But its different with Sam. I really feel like I can just put my whole heart in with no worries. I can be myself, my negative self, my unglam self, and whatever it is, he still loves me. No one else has ever gave me so much love that up to now, I can't believe I've gotten hand of such a good guy. Sometimes I feel like I'm not worthy, and I wonder what I did to deserve him, but I figured out, this is fate. It works in strange ways, and I'm not going to question it. Every single day, I'm just so thankful for him. He's not someone I can just take for granted, because I'm scared I'll lose him. And if that day ever happens, I don't know what I'll do, because he's my everything.
